May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
