im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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