I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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