Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
