bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
