is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
