Your tits are I can't wait for
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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