when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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