she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
