I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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