So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
