I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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