my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
