Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
