Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
