Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
