i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
