If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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