how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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