dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
