you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize