it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
