I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I think my moral compass just broke
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
