I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
