I will die if light touches me.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
