it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
