Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
