Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
