Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
