He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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