I'm pants shitting drunk right now
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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