idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
