I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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