even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
