Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
