Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
