Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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