I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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