Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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