yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
