I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
