Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
