So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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