4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
