I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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