Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
