I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
