Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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