I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
