and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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