I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
