and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
