I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
