when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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